English: A Bully Free Zone sign – School in Berea, Ohio (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
Cyber-bullying can take many forms; some of them are so subtle that people may not even recognize them as cyber-bullying, and it can be difficult for anyone to do anything about it.
I was cyber-bullied recently. Here is what happened:
I responded to a question in a forum; suggesting to a new entrepreneur that they could save money by building their own website, like I had done. The website I was referring to was no longer active; I took it down to make some changes to it, and I thought I had removed the link from my profile, but apparently I missed something.
Another person responded to my forum post with the comment that “we should all be inspired by your professionalism” and referred to the missing site.
The point this person was trying to make, apparently, was that I was an idiot for writing about a website I built, when the link did not work.
However, if I had bragged about this great and wonderful and awesome website I built, and then posted a broken link, her comment might have been understandable. Then again, broken links happen all the time; does that or any other type of mistake, make a person unprofessional? If mistakes make us unprofessional, or idiots, then we are all in trouble. She did not actually come out and call me an idiot, but it was so clearly implied, she might as well have.
However, I kept my cool, and I showed my class and professionalism by how I handled the situation. I didn’t stoop to this person’s level, I just calmly and politely pointed out her error.
That is the way to handle a cyber-bully. All bullies have 2 things in common:
1. They hate it when people stand up to them and, 2. Most of the time they are small-minded, insecure, cowards who have to make themselves feel big by tearing down someone else, and they do it when no-one is around or, in the case of cyber-bullying, where they can easily hide behind anonymity and/or their bullying is hard to prove or do anything about.
There ARE things you can do about it though:
1.Learn to recognize it: any comments, pictures, etc that make you feel intimidated, uncomfortable, scared, harassed, or
belittled, are cyber-bullying. The law might not recognize that yet, because the law has not caught up with technology.
Also, the law can’t be everywhere, so people need to have the courage to stand up to cyber-bullies.
2. Keep your cool, but let the person doing the bullying know, in no uncertain terms (but politely–don’t sink to their level)
that you refuse to be intimidated or belittled by them. After that, cut off contact with them; don’t give them any open
avenues to continue bullying you; change your email address and phone number if you have to. Unfriend them, unfriend their
friends, whatever you have to do. Take control of your life.
3. Don’t blame yourself: It is not personal, they just want someone to bully; if they can’t bully you, they will move on to
the next victim. However, if you allow yourself to be bullied, rest assured that the bully won’t quit until you stand up
Here are some awesome stories about people who have stood up to bullies:
Healthy does not mean skinny as a rail. Healthy is different for each women, you don’t have to be a size six to
be healthy. Having a few curves does not mean you are unhealthy. I’m definitely not a stick figure, but I am in great health.
If you have ever looked at classic works of art, paintings and sculptures, etc, those women are not skinny; they would be considered fat today. For centuries, as you can see from that artwork, fat was in; the skinny waif model type is a modern idea.
(BTW, that is a picture of a video, not a hyperlink, the hyperlink is above it, so please don’t try to click on the picture, and then write to me about how the link doesn’t work, the link is above the picture ; )
Don’t let their ignorant and insecure opinions become your reality. I just noticed that “ignorant” has the word “ignore” in
it; that’s fitting, this guy is flaunting his idiotic opinions for attention so best response is just ignore him.
If he has ever REALLY been bullied, why would he ever think it ok to bully to someone else?